<Episode 36>

He was still on his knees when Rachel, Sparky and the others came running through the construction site. As the other quickly got Jennifer back to the underground Rachel and Sparky went immediately to him and tried to get him to talk. Finally he powered down the system and left without saying a word. Jack didn’t head back to his room, or the room they put him in after he broke. He headed for the garden center and sat right by the flower he’d had been trying to help grow. He studied it for a long time, the buds just starting to open. Then he looked at his hand, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to try to close it again or not. He thought about going postal on the panther, he needed, no he wanted answers.

And right now there was only one person he could think of that could have those answers. Getting up he ignored the thank yous for saving the kid and the concerns for his own well being. He even passed by Rachel and Melissa when they wanted to talk to him. The person he wanted was in her room. He got to her door and started to knock, then stopped. What was he thinking? He didn’t believe in this stuff. Jack started to walk away but again he stopped. How else was he going to get any answers nobody else seemed able to give him? Jack started to knock, stopped, started to walk away, stopped and went to knock again.

“It’s alright child,” Emily called out from the other side of the door, “you may come in.”

“How did…?”, he wondered out loud. Looking at himself he went, “Oh yeah, Drakan blood.” That had to be it. Entering he saw Emily sitting in a chair smiling at him. “Uh… hey.”

“Hello,” she greeted him. “I do believe this is the first time you’ve visited my humble dwelling.” Jack didn’t know what to say, he was trying not to look around. But he couldn’t help looking at the plant on her table. She noticed him looking, “I hear we now have one similar interest. Although,” it was like she was looking through him, which unnerved him a bit, “I doubt you’ve come to me for gardening tips.”

“I guess not,” he admitted. “Honestly I don’t know why I’m here… I just knew I had… or I’d… do you mind if I take this jacket off?” She said she didn’t so he quickly took it off and sat at the table. “Something happened when I was looking for the kid.”

“That bit of news, as always, travels fast child.”

“But I couldn’t fight him, something kept stopping me when I tried. Then… then he started talking and…”

She finished for him, “You felt something. Something you didn’t think you would be capable of feeling again.” Not sure what to say he nodded. “Anger perhaps?”

“I don’t know,” he ran his fingers through his hair. “Then something else happened. I…,” he paused. “I don’t know why I’m even telling you this.”

“Don’t stop now child,” she urged him. “Tell me what happened.”

“I don’t know how to describe it, things made sense then they didn’t,” he got up and walked around the room. “I just knew things had to make sense again or I’m never getting out of this.”

She smiled softly, “I do believe I can help you child, or at least help you in the right direction.”

“I knew the mumbo jumbo as going to start somewhere.”

“Say what you want but I will do my best to help you. Help me to the floor child.” Jack gave her a weird look but he did as she asked. Emily motioned for him to sit on the floor as well. She smiled again, “Sorry child, just remembering something.” She reached under the bed and pulled out a square metal box, then she reached behind her and started putting pieces of wood into the box. “Tell me Jack, have you ever heard of a spirit quest?”

He thought about it for a few seconds, “I thought that was an Indian thing.”

“Occasionally you humans have a good idea,” she said with another smile. “This may sound strange child but I do believe this is the first step on your new journey.” Emily lit a match and threw it into the box. Slowly smoke started to come from the burning wood, it almost had a sweet scent to it. “This is a journey you must take alone, but not alone.” Her skin went all leathery and scaly as she changed into a red crocodile before his eyes. “I will be here, but you will be guided by somebody else. Now relax, clear your mind of all thought and close your eyes,” she said soothingly and he followed her order. “Now slowly inhale the smoke, let it fill you body, mind and soul.”

Inhaling deeply he felt the tension quickly melt away. He was actually starting to fell sleepy. Outside of a slight moving sensation he was totally at piece, but he wasn’t getting any answers. “When am I going to know this is working?” Emily didn’t answer so he opened his eyes. “Whoa!”, he exclaimed as he shot to his feet.

He wasn’t in Emily room anymore. He wasn’t sure where he was as he looked around. A heavy fog surrounded but he could make out some various shapes of rocks and boulders around him. Jack touched one, it felt real enough. “Emily I don’t know if you can hear me or not but whatever that wood is you could probably get a good street price for it. Great I’m starting to think like my Uncle’s friends.”

Then he noticed something else in the fog. Shapes where roaming around, just beyond the boulders. Looking closer he noticed the shapes were a mixture of human and animals, Drakans. Then he got a better look and realized he knew these Drakans. He killed them. “So now what?” he asked the ghosts. “I’m here so what do you want?” They ignored him as they moved around. “Do you want me to say I’m sorry, is that it?”, he asked. “I’m sorry all right. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I killed you,” he said pointing at red octopus, “I’m sorry I killed you,” he looked at a red kangaroo, “I’m sorry I killed you,” he turned to a blue scorpion, “I’m…,” and he trailed off.

Standing right in front of him was a green shark, with four scars running across it’s chest. He was looking at Allen. Slowly he shook his finger at the ghost and thought it over. “Actually I think I’m glad I killed you, because this is the first time I’ve seen you since then. Is that why it happened? I’m actually glad I killed one of them.”

“The answer is not that simple,” a voice said startling him. Jack looked around trying to locate the sound. He tried to remember what he had heard about this, there was usually an animal there as a spirit guide. Find the animal and you find the voice. He looked around the area several times and found nothing. Then out of the corner of his eye a small hint of movement on one of the boulders caught his attention. Jack looked closer and saw a dragonfly sitting on top of the boulder.

“You,” he said after a moment, “are my spirit guide?”

“Yes I am,” the fact the thing that little was talking with that deep of a voice wasn’t blowing his mind still amazed him.

But he did start laughing, “Oh it is official.” He turned around and looked at the foggy sky above him as he yelled, “Whoever running this thing has a sick sense of humor!”

“This is no joke Jack Davidson, I am here to help to help you through this.”

Jack held his head, “How helpful are you going to be when I know you’re gonna say something to tick me off and I get the urge to squish you?”

“I am aware of this possibility. Which is why I’ve brought along someone you’ll be more likely to listen to.”

Jack could hear footsteps in the silence around them, and they were getting closer. He turned his head to see a new image come through the fog. The closer the shape got the more he recognized it. Curly hair and glasses came into views the shape stopped a few feet away and Jack was lost for words. The newcomer spoke, “No offence bud, but you look like hell.”

He stared for a long time before going, “Richie?”

***

Rachel was dumfounded when Jack just walked right past her and Melissa. Not to mention a little hurt when she realized he was heading straight for Emily’s room. By the time she caught up he had already entered. She was going to check on him when Melissa dragged her off in the other direction over her protest. Right now they were in a quieter area and Melissa just sat by as she ranted, “Why couldn’t he come to me? That’s all I’m asking. This entire time I’ve been with him through everything. All the high, all the lows, all the normal points who was there? Me. And he has to be in a weird spot in his head right now, so who does he go too? Emily. The person who hid this from him!”

Melissa wasn’t helping anything as she sat there smiling the whole time, “My God, you’re actually jealous of Emily.”

“I am…,” she started before subduing herself, “I am not.”

“Try hiding that from somebody else,” she told her. Melissa looked like she was thinking something over. “Look, I have to be honest about something here.”

“Now what, your Grandfather supplying the Drakan fighters for your cousin?”, Rachel snapped.

“You do realize that something Jack would say right? But he’s not here right now so I guess somebody had to say it. You might not believe this but Emily is the reason why the two of you are here.”

Rachel finally sat down, “So she ‘saw’ us here?”

“She saw Jack,” Melissa explained. “Nobody even knew you were in the picture.”

“I remember Sparky saying nobody was expecting two of us,” Rachel told her.

Melissa nodded and continued, “But Emily didn’t know what was going to happen to him. All she knew was that at some point Jack was going to come to her for help. With that she started to convince me that having him here was a good idea.”

“I always thought that invitation was a little out of the blue,” Rachel commented.

“Oh I didn’t agree right away,” she said. “Honestly I was dead set against it when she brought it up. Not just the idea of the nightmare it would cause if the other cells ever found out I was harboring the Drakan Killer. Just the idea she was asking me to invite the man who killed my brother to live here with open arms. I though she lost her mind.”

“Then why did you make the offer?”

“Because in her own way Emily is very persistent,” she said with a smile. “She won’t badger you out right, but she has her ways. Like the note she left me detailing her vision. I figured she wasn’t going to let it go so I started thinking of the possibility of a small alliance. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, that sort of thing. Then I gave the note to Lance to get his opinion.” She laughed a bit, “Actually I was hoping he’d tell me I was crazy for even considering it.” Rachel laughed along despite herself. “No the idiot said the idea might be a good idea, if we were careful. So the three of us got together and planned this out.

“Then I threw in the monkey wrench,” Rachel added.

“Don’t get me wrong, Friedman told us you left with him. Nobody informed us you were that close. Well at least not until Dusty fought for you to stay here with him. And trust me I’m glad I did agree because you have been a God send.”

“I didn’t do that much. Actually there were a few times I thought I was more of a hindrance than anything else.”

“There I am disagreeing with you. People were watching the two of you those first couple of week. And from what I’ve heard you have definitely been a calming influence.”

“Everybody was a little on edge. I knew Jack was just waiting for somebody to start something.”

“But you calmed things down. Well except for that time with Jason, which took just about everybody by surprise,” she laughed again. “But you’re right, people were on edge, and I think some people were just itching for a fight. Your first night here I went to check on the two of you to see if you were settling in alright and I saw Jack standing outside your door. Then I heard a couple of mine coming around the corner planning on getting some revenge on him or you. I got the feeling if I didn’t make my presence known there would have been a fight right then and there.”

“I wondered why he wanted me to head back with Dusty the next day,” Rachel said remembering. “He never told me there was a problem.

“He didn’t want to tell me either, he tried to make it sound like something else entirely.” Melissa looked her in the eyes for a long time. “Look, I know how you feel about him. And I’ve kept that trust you placed in me. And these past few months I’ve watch you run yourself ragged trying to shoulder the entire situation.” She reached out and placed a hand on hers, “I’m saying this as a friend, it’s time to let somebody else help him. Believe me, I doubt Jack would have gotten as far as he did as fast as he did without you there every step of the way. But if something is telling him he needs to talk to Emily right now you should let him. I know it’s hard but I think it’s for the best.”

Rachel conceded, “I know you’re right. Another point of view would be a good thing right now. Maybe I care about him too much, I don’t even think he feels the same way.”

Melissa just gave her a knowing smirked, “Some how I doubt he’d be standing there outside you guy’s door that night if he was just worried about himself.”

***

Jack circled Richie totally stunned at what he was seeing. Richie stood there patiently waiting for the shock to go away. Without thinking Jack started poking at him as he walked around him. Until Richie reached out and finger flicked him between the eyes. “Hey!”, Jack cried out in protest

“Do you have any idea how annoying that is?”, Richie asked him. Jack punched him in the shoulder, “Ow.” Richie started rubbing his shoulder, “You’re not suppose to hit the dead you jerk.”

“The dead’s not suppose to be able to hit you at all,” Jack shot back. Rubbing between his eyes a little he said, “All right, I believe it, it’s you.” Jack took a moment to flex the fingers a few times. “I guess that answers that question.”

“And it’s about time you got over that block of your man. You just needed the right trigger to get over it.”

“I need to sit down,” Jack said and sat on the nearest boulder. “Ok, you’re suppose to help me out here right?” Richie nodded as he sat on the next boulder. “Can you at least tell me why me? Why am I the one going through this crap?”

Richie leaned in, “Because you’re a cynical son of a bitch.”

“Did a dead man just… where did you go?”, he asked looking for the dragonfly. It was nowhere to be found. “Some spirit guide you are!”

“He probably thinks there’s going to be a fight,” Richie chuckled. “Too bad nobody gave me a two by four to knock some sense into you. But it was you all along, the moment we were caught in that avalanche this is what you were suppose to do.”

“I’m not cut out for this,” Jack argued, “that should be pretty obvious. It should have been you, all this stuff is right up your alley.”

Richie started shaking his head, “Sorry man, but I am not the right guy for this particular job.”

“What are you talking about? You ate this stuff up growing up.”

“And what happened when I was living it? As you put it I had my head up my ass. And somebody had to be able to see through Anderson’s lies and that wasn’t me. You grew up seeing people who weren’t who they said they were. You never took anything at face value. You’re always looking for that little something that’ll prove your assumption right. That’s why you automatically suspected that girl you’re with twice when you found out Anderson had something like us up his sleeves. And on a side note, what taking you so long? She’s hot, for what ever reason likes you and you’re into her. Before this happened you wouldn’t have thought twice about asking her out.”

Jack got real defensive real quick, “Keep Rachel out of this.” He walked around, “Alright then if this was suppose to me all along why did I have that breakdown? If I was suppose to be this great warrior this never should have happened.”

His best friend looked sympathetic, “Because you’re still human, and part of you was refusing to feel the guilt.”

“I was feeling guilty,” Jack said suddenly. “I was just feeling less guilt as things went on.”

“Part of you head was forcing yourself to feel less guilt each time. Part of you was convinced you wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt that you were shoving it down, getting a little more each time. But it was coming out in other ways after awhile. Remember how tired you were getting some times? Then the nightmares started to happen. Seeing the ones you killed while you were awake. That was the guilt making itself known. And as much as I hate to tell you this you should have gone through this a lot earlier.”

He wanted to demand when but deep down he already knew. “When I fought Christopher.” Richie nodded again. “After I killed him the other surrounded him and howled. I remember being overwhelmed with all these emotions. I remember thinking I had to get out of there or… If I was suppose to go through this then what happened?”

“You know what happened,” Richie said sadly. The fog around them changed into a version of the arena. He was seeing himself and the other Drakans looking at the upper level. Anderson men had them surrounded and were about to fire. “This stopped it. This one event filled you with so much rage it basically patched that break inside you. And I’ll give you credit for being so stubborn because you held it together for so long through sheer force of will. But you kept pushing down the guilt and the pressure kept building. It was like having a damn with a two foot crack in it and patching it with Band-Aids. No matter how many you put on eventually the crack is going to win.”

“So now what? And how is this suppose to help me? I realized something when I was rescuing Jennifer and I can’t remember it now. That’s why I’m here. I can’t keep feeling rage every time I fight a Drakan if this is what I’m supposed to be doing.”

“You weren’t feeling rage that last time,” Richie informed him. “And deep down you know that.”

“Then what was it?”, Jack demanded.

“Would you believe righteous fury?” Jack walked away feeling disgusted. Richie followed him, “Do you want to know why you had that moment? For a brief moment you found your reason to fight. You couldn’t keep fighting for revenge. You couldn’t keep fighting for survival. Those reasons got you here. Because when that bastard was talking you found out a way you could live with the guilt, even if it was just for a moment. It’s the same exact thing when you discovered that other bastard sent you after those kids. You realized she needed a protector, you realized they needed a defender.”

Jack interrupted him figuring out where he was going, “You start in on that champion of justice crap and I’m kicking your dead ass right now.”

“You know I’m right,” Richie told him. “You had flashes of it a few time now. When you didn’t even think twice about going after the girl. When you were willing to let the wolf and the kids go. When you saved a person who turned out to rebel’s future leader. When you went to save her friend no questions asked. Letting the monkey live the second time you fought him. Protecting Rachel when you thought the wolf was going to go after her. Deciding to save Rachel over killing the monkey when you had the chance. Forcing yourself to move to stop that elephant from hurting her. Are we seeing a pattern yet?” He started smiling, “Especially with those last three.”

Jack turned away muttering, “Now the dead poking into my love life.” Turning back around he demanded, “And how do you know this stuff? You were floating in goop for most of it.”

“Do you really think I’m going to brought in to help my best friend and not be given the ammo to back me up? And I think ‘Lack of a love life’ were the words you were looking for. Look man everybody has a path they take in life. That path get’s altered by the decisions we make and the decisions other people make. The avalanche that happened to us set you on a certain path. Unfortunately the path was harder on you than anybody wanted.”

“Does this path have a destination?”

“Anderson,” Richie answered. “This path ends the moment you face him.”

“Then I’ll head to World Inc. tomorrow and knock on the front door.”

“It doesn’t work like that Jack. Look fate won’t be denied but it hates being rushed too. You are not ready for that fight, even before you broke you weren’t even close. You have to go through a few more battles before you are.”

“If I choose to go through those battles,” Jack said suddenly. “You and a couple of other have told me I have a choice. I can walk away and leave right now.”

“Yes you can,” Richie agreed. “But you’d be always looking over your shoulder. Always worried if you’re going to get caught or of you’re going to slip up. Not to mention any Drakan you likely to come across. Like you told me not all of them are willing to over look the smell of Drakan Blood. And that would put you back on Anderson’s radar.” Part of the fog parted revealing the Fusion armor. “No matter what you do now this is your life now. This is you.”

“No. This is not me,” Jack said, the word tipped with the anger he was suddenly feeling. He rushed in to push the armor down. The armor fought back. Giving into his rage he tackled the armor, both of them going through the Drakan ghosts walking around. Jack unleashed fist after fist on the armor trying to drive it away. The armor ducked his last swing and stated punching back. He was vaguely aware of Richie just sitting back with his arm crossed watching the whole thing. The armor surprised him with a kick to the head but he didn’t go down. Jack caught a punch and flipped it over his shoulder.

The armor got up and went for another kick as Jack went for the same move, essentially blocking each other. Jack spun around for a backhand and hit the fore arm of the armor as it did the same. They continued to fight as their moves mirrored each other. Jack didn’t really notice until he reared back his right hand and held it there as the armor did the same. Slowly both of them lowered their arms as Richie looked at him, “Yes, I do believe it’s finally sinking through that thick skull of his.”

Staring at the armor he said, “I don’t want this to be me.”

Richie looked sympathetic as he walked up, “I don’t want it to be you either, but it is. The final decision is your, it always has been. But listen to me for once, the people around you need a defender, a champion, be it. Think it over.” Richie had a far away look on his face for a few seconds, When he came back he looked a little sad, “I think my time almost up. Before I have to go I have to tell you one thing. This path may take you to Anderson but there’s no guarantee you’ll make it. Nothing is written in stone. You could make a misstep during a fight, you could react a little late to an ambush.” He shrugged, “Somebody could push Anderson in front of an oncoming bus. But either way they need a champion. I’m feeling a bit of a tug here so I guess this is goodbye again.”

Jack was almost overwhelmed by the sadness he was feeling, “Richie, I’m sorry I…”

“Don’t be, you did what you thought you had to do. No grudges on my part.”

Tears filled his eyes, “I miss you man.”

“I miss you too bud,” Richie pulled Jack into a hug. Pulling away he added, “But it better be a long ass time before I see your ugly mug again.”

“I’ll do what I can.” After a moment he said, “I’m still killing the monkey.”

“Do you see me talking you out of it? Go, blow him to hell. If it wasn’t for him neither one of us would be in this mess.” Richie started to fad away as the fog got thicker. He was almost gone when Jack heard, “And you better take good care of her. You don’t and screw this up I will haunt you for the rest of your life.” The fog got so thick Jack couldn’t see him or his hand in front of his face. Then he felt like he was moving while he was standing still.

***

Emily watched him as he slowly open his eyes and came out of it. He looked around not sure if he actually experienced what he did. A common look for first timers. She returned to her human form and waited. After a few moments he said, “I was not expecting anything like that.”

“Nobody sees what they expect child,” she told him. “Nor in the same way they experienced others.” Jack sat there, from the look of things he was still trying to wrap his head around it. “Hardly anybody can fully process what they saw right away. More time that not they need time to process it all completely. Take that time child, as always I am here for you if you need somebody to help you through it.” He still looked unsure of it all. “I am sure you have your answer. It is up to you if you want to accept it or not.”

“I’m sorry,” he said getting up. “I… I need some air.”

“Of course child,” she said. “Melissa needs to do the same herself after some of her more intense visions.” Jack grabbed his jacket and left. She watched him closely the entire time, particularly his eyes. For a long time now they were almost lifeless. Now she was sure there was a small spark in them that wasn’t there before. Time would tell if that spark would die out or grow into a roaring flame. The choice was his one way or the other.