Previously on RPM. Scott’s daddy issues continued, as he disobeyed Colonel Truman to go run off with the Speed Twins and blow some stuff up. Fortunately for them, Scott was right and Truman was wrong, and they ended up saving the whole city. But the twins are proving to be a bit of a handful, as Gemma almost got herself killed in the process of trying to blast the enemy. Will the team be able to handle the cracktastic habits of their newest teammates? Let’s find out!

I think Gem and Gemma may be some of the most divisive characters in the entire Power Rangers franchise. They’re crazy, childlike, and finish each other’s sentences constantly. Some people find this incredibly annoying. I, on the other hand, love them. Both for their ridiculous comic value, and for the darker side that is so clearly lingering beneath the surface. Which is why I love that they again are getting to have a bit of fun in this episode, even if it quickly turns into “The Adventures of Dillon & Friends” for a large portion of it. 

The twins begin by explaining that they plan to attack one of several Venjix outposts scattered about the Mad Max Wastelands. This one in particular is where the twins were held captive and forced to work for the machines under incredibly harsh conditions. And I’m convinced that the way they tell this story could make young children cry. They talk about this horrific existence in such a cheerful way, with these enormous grins on their faces. It’s enough to give even the Joker nightmares.  

And this is the scene where you know for absolute certain that these guys are crazy. Not just quirky-crazy like Bridge, or nerdy-crazy like Chip. They are completely and utterly batshit fucking insane. Just look at their faces as they plot to destroy the Venjix factory (which, by the way, is filled with prisoners that they don’t seem too terribly worried about at the moment).

A while later, Dillon has a quiet moment alone as he opens up his mysterious pocket watch and it plays that same tune we’ve heard since the premiere. And I hate to bring this up again, but since this is RPM and I feel I must point these things out- this is yet another example of the writers bothering to set up part of the story that we’ll be seeing in a few minutes. Just another reason to love RPM and its attention to detail.

But Dillon’s emo session is interrupted by an alarm, as they’re alerted of a new Attack-Bot entering the city. The five core Rangers rush out to defend the city.

I wish I could say I loved this section of the episode, but I really, really didn’t. In fact, it’s got to be among my least favorite series of moments in the whole season thus far. Almost every moment feels flat and uninteresting to me. 

We start off just fine with the Rangers getting ready to head out for battle. Ziggy and Flynn carry on an asanine debate about whether or not it’s a good idea to have a Sewing Needle Zord in order to fight a giant ball of yarn, since it’s not a cutesy animal like the rest of them. They’re dead serious with this conversation, and I heart this moment. But then they have to drag the comedy out into the streets, as the team literally starts searching for a giant ball of yarn. Not only that, but Tenaya 7 shows up with The Gold One and The White One, and they all go on for what feels like 6 minutes about the frakking ball of yarn.

Okay, Random Writer Whose Name I Don’t Remember Seeing Before. Ball of yarn, funny. I GET IT! Can we please move on to the part where the characters start hitting each other?

Apparently, Dillon agrees with me. Because when Tenaya tries to put her last two cents into the conversation, he mercifully shouts “Please! Stop talking!” 

And that is why Dillon is awesome.

However, Tenaya does manage to let out at some point that the Attack-Bot was designed not to destroy the city (which never works), but to destroy the Rangers themselves. In fact, he’s learning all their moves as they duke it out. Wow, I hope this is an integral part of the episode’s plot, and not something they almost completely drop later on. Fingers crossed!

The Attack-Bot is doing a good job at what he was sent to do, and the core Rangers are getting their tails kicked all over the battlefield. But suddenly, a hail of sparks flies everywhere as the Destructo Siblings, Gem and Gemma arrive on the scene. Tenaya shoots the ground and an explosion of smoke bursts up, masking their retreat. Don’t ask why they retreated so fast. I’m not sure they know themselves. But it sure doesn’t dampen Gem and Gemma’s spirits. They assume the enemy just blew themselves up. Perhaps in a desperate attempt to escape the twin-speak. How dare they!

More fun with G&G is had back at the garage, as they gleefully hum an innocent tune… while mixing an explosive compound in the kitchen. Ziggy steps in between them, assuming they’re just making pancakes or something, and takes a nice, big spoonful of the stuff into his mouth.

Now, if I was Ziggy, I would think the smell of lethally destructive chemicals (to say nothing of the flavor once you stick it in your mouth) would be enough to warn you about trying some. Especially when it comes from the mixing bowl of THOSE TWO. But Ziggy doesn’t realize what it is until the siblings explain it to him. And I just have to wonder if they would have said anything at all if Ziggy hadn’t mentioned that he thought it was food. Ziggy’s reaction is among the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

Potential death is fun!

The siblings return to mixing their concoction and humming the tune, just as Dillon walks by. Suddenly, he stops as he realizes he has heard that tune before. From the pocket watch he carries around, and just coincidentally happened to have been listening to a few minutes earlier!

When questioned, Gem and Gemma explain that the music came from the old family heirloom of a blind girl that had been held prisoner in the cell next to theirs at the Venjix outpost they planned to blow up. Apparently, the blind girl had a brother. And when Dillon reveals the family heirloom in the form of his watch, the siblings realize that Dillon is probably her long lost brother.

KABAM! Now some fans can stop speculating that Dillon and Tenaya are lovers… although I’m sure there will still be incest fanfiction… involving robotic parts…. But hey, at least my music video is now confirmed to make sense where their relationship is concerned. And that’s all that matters in the end. >_>

Dillon’s ready to do his Lone Wolf thing, when Scott steps in to do his duty as the resident douche-monkey. He tells him he shouldn’t go, since the city is still in danger from that totally relevant Attack-Bot that knows all their moves. Dr. K reminds him of the last time he left the city… I guess she forgot about the fact that she wanted him to go out there to find a cure for his robo-cancer that time.

Anywho, Scott’s not taking any chances. Despite Flynn’s objections, he wants him to take out the spark plugs to Dillon’s car so he can’t get away. But Dillon proves once again that he is cooler than Scott by driving off before they can get to him. And the spark plugs in Scott and Flynn’s own vehicles have been removed as well. Scott fails.

The Adventures of Dillon & Friends begin this week with an awesome scene featuring the two bestest BFFs in the whole wide decimated world: Dillon and Ziggy. The duo head out into the desert to search for the outpost that may be holding Dillon’s sister. Ziggy smiles proudly at all the progress they’ve made. He says, when they first met, Dillon didn’t know who he was, or where he came from, or where he was going. Dillon reminds him that he stll doesn’t know any of that at all. Oh Diggy. We’ve come so far, but have so much further to go.
 
Dillon pulls the car over… to more sand… as he asks Ziggy to make sure they’re going the right way, according to Gem and Gemma’s map of the desert. Ziggy pulls out the map. And I die laughing. The map is made up of rainbows, flowers, and unicorns. Only someone completely insane could decipher such a deranged code.
“Hmm. How do I get to the Hershey Highway from here?” 

Ziggy can’t make heads or tails of that crazy map, but it doesn’t matter because there’s a crapload of Grinders headed their way. Dillon states that there’s no time to drive away (somehow) so the two of them hop out of the car to face the foot soldiers head-on.

This doesn’t work out too well for them. The duo is soon overwhelmed with enemies, and there’s not much that could save them at this point… except for Summer and her Rider Kick of Doom!

ABCKids would like to inform you that you’re watching “Power Rangers RPM.” 

It’s best not to ask where Summer came from. Same thing with her backstory in the “Ranger Yellow” episodes. Just don’t go there. It’ll make things much easier.

After the Rider Kick, Summer takes a Grinder’s bike and a big slow-motion explosion rips up as she rides by a bunch of other Grinders, which defeats them all in one swoop. Considering this is the first bike apocalypse sequence in the whole season, I’m gonna count this as a win for RPM. It didn’t take half the episode to end (thank you very much, NickJackBridgeWillCasey), and it was generally skated over quickly enough that you could just forget it and move on. The scene is like a one-minute apology for past offenses.

Now, remember when I said only an insane person could read that map?… Yeah, Summer takes one look at the map and instantly knows where to go. BATSHIT. 

While the Ranger Threesome takes off for the outpost, Flynn is making another smoothie (the man loves his fruity drinks) and Scott is fuming at the insubordination of his fellow Rangers… when Dr. K comes in and tells him about Gem and Gemma leaving on a “super-secret, super-fun mission” of their own. They left a note on a piece of paper shaped and colored like a butterfly. Scott can barely contain his rage over the stick that is spinning furiously within his anus.  

But Scott will get to take his frustrations out on the new Attack-Bot because they’ve just detected its presence in the city. With only Scott and Flynn there to actually fight it. Maybe they’ll have to come up with some kind of brilliant strategy to defeat that totally relevant ability the Attack-Bot has to counteract all their standard moves. I can’t wait to see this! 

Meanwhile, the Ranger Threesome has arrived at the outpost, and they see a large number of human slaves being carted around, with a group of Grinders standing watch. A moment of coolness occurs, as our heroes recognize a pattern in the Grinders’ programming. They turn their heads around at certain intervals, leaving a small window for the Rangers to sneak in undetected. The three of them grab slave clothes that are just laying around, and put them on in order to blend in. 

Ziggy suggests they create a distraction to get into one of the main rooms without the Grinders coming after them. It is obvious the moment he makes this suggestion that he is going to be the distraction. 

 
Ziggy grabs one of the handy robot gloves in front of him and just kinda throws it on the floor in front of the Grinder guards. They all go to investigate, giving Summer and Dillon enough time to sneak past them and into a special chamber. Which happens to look a lot like Venjix’s lair, if Venjix was entertaining a lady-friend that evening.

They cross a dramatic mini-bridge and come to a computer console, which displays a bunch of scrolling text. It’s moving too fast for Summer to read, but Dillon’s cyborg senses are just fine. The subtextual creepiness of the way he tells this to Summer is really nice. The robo-cancer is looming… 

Anyway, he soon discovers that a blind girl was being held here, but before he can get any concrete answers, the console gets blasted by Grinders. Dillon lets out a gutteral “NOOO!” And I think that’s the absolute best “NOOO!” this show has had, at least since Jen’s future hubby almost bit the dust in 2001’s Time Force. It’s hard to make that not look cheesy as all get-out. Just sayin. 

So, Dillon is filled with Emo Rage, so he takes his revenge on the first Grinders he can get his cybernetic hands on. Of course, by the time they step out of the Venjix Love Nest, there are way too many Grinders for them to handle. Dillon and Summer are back-to-back in this room full of enemies about to take them down. Summer delivers her best line in the episode here, suggesting that, whatever happens, she’s going to take out as many of these guys as she can. In other words, she’s going to die kicking ass. Dillon agrees. The shippers do somersaults.

But before the two of them can be completely murdered, we hear Ziggy’s voice. The Grinders look up and the incredibly fake-looking shadows of two people are running along the walls. Ziggy’s voice shouts “The intruders- they’re getting away!” and the Grinders fall for it. It’s just so stupid that you can’t help but laugh. Plus, it’s an amazing callback to episode two, when Ziggy’s famous mastery of shadow puppets is first revealed. You thought that wouldn’t ever be brought up again, didn’t you? 
   
Curiously, no one seems all that concerned about the prisoners who are stuck in that hellhole, as the Ranger Threesome makes its escape. Ziggy and Summer even take the time to try snagging the front seat for the return trip home. Oh well. They’ll probably be back next week. Unless ABCKids gets pre-empted again. And then it’s GOLF-A-RAMA, BABY!!!!!

The Threesome head back just in time to hear the communications chatter relayed between Flynn and Scott, and Dr. K, as the two lonely Rangers try to fight off the deadly Attack-Bot. But then Gem and Gemma show up and blast it halfway across the planet.

Scott refuses to let the Threesome return to the team without first getting yelled at for leaving him, but he’s quickly reminded of his Ranger duties as the Attack-Bot grows into his jumbo-size. The Rangers combine into the Whatever Megazord and Gem and Gemma summon their Chicken and Tiger aerial zords. 

Okay, this is it. The epic struggle to face this lethal Attack-Bot with the power to observe and adapt to their every move. I can’t wait to see the intensity of this fight!!! 

No, wait…. So, um… Gold and Silver just kinda fly around the Attack-Bot like annoying bees, and this “distracts” the robot enough for the Whatever Megazord to fire off a finishing attack and destroy their target… THAT’S IT? That’s your big resolution for this robot, that was specially designed for total ass-kickery? “NOOO!”  

At least we got in some good adventure with Dillon & Friends. And the siblings have got some explaining to do about their “super-secret” mission. Sumthin’s up with those two, and I’d like to know what…

Our heroes reconvene at the Garage, where Scott takes one final opportunity to douche it up with Dillon. But this time, Dillon seems to knock some sense into his leader, by expressing (in his own way) the emotional need he had to search for answers about his sister, and their past together. Scott aknowledges the difficulty of their situation. Yay for team bonding! 

However, the danger’s not over yet. They’ve downloaded some info from the Venjix Love Nest about a new machine being built at that outpost. Dr. K tells them that whatever they’re building could break right through the city dome and destroy them all. It is a Doomsday Weapon… 

*BWOOSH!*


This episode was fun, all things considered, but there were a few moments where I couldn’t quite explain away what was actually happening on-screen. Or I just plain didn’t like it, in the case of the first fight scene and that endless banter. Basically, Gem, Gemma, Dillon, and Ziggy were fantastic. Summer and Flynn get honorable mention. I still really don’t think they mean for Scott to look like as big of a douche as he does, but… well, just look at it. 

“Prisoners” gets a B-. RPM has spoiled me rotten.

-Dr. Tristan