Previously on RPM. Dr. K basically spent her whole life working like a slave in a “think tank” with the ridiculously cheerful twins, Gem and Gemma. Tenaya also stuck a device on Dillon’s neck to turn him all robotical and stuff. Summer decided she was a hypnotist and that she would use her skills to bring Dillon’s memories back. Well, his memories lead the kids to the post-apocalyptic Omega City, where Venjix (in a spiffy new body) is waiting to kill them all to death. But at the last second, the Rangers are saved by two shiny new guys who talk really funny. Will the Rangers ever return from Omega City alive? Well of course they will, but let’s pretend we don’t know that.

We begin pretty much where we left off, with the gang all huddled into the Go-Onger van (teehee). Flynn drives, while Ziggy makes an admirable, if not misguided attempt at navigating. I think I love how these two antagonize each other. This is a bantertastic episode for sure, and it offers up no short supply of snark.

The Rangers wonder who the shiny new guys might have been, and Flynn just throws it out there that he thinks they might be ghosts…. Which I just think is funny. And apparently, so does Ziggy, because he spends half the episode harrassing his teammate over that suggestion. I love him for this.

Also, Flynn is the first to point out that one of those fancy zords they were piloting was a “giant flying chicken.” CRACKED. MAH. SHIT. UP!

Scott wishes that they could talk to Dr. K, but sadly there’s too much interference in the wasteland.

Finally, the Rangers arrive at Cylon-Occupied Caprica (or something) and everyone steps out to look at the big sign that says “Kenmore.” I keep looking around to see if I can spot that washer-dryer combo I thought Dillon might have been shopping for when he was captured by Venjix, but it’s nowhere to be found.

Meanwhile, back at The Garage, Dr. K is hard at work doing… something smart. She then stumbles onto a major discovery. It seems the same “signal” coming from Omega City is also coming from the device Tenaya stuck on him a few episodes ago to try to turn him into Seven of Nine of the Borg. This was all part of some elaborate plan by Venjix!

Now, hold up… This right here is freaking awesome. And would you like to know why? Well, I’ll tell you anyway.

See, I complained last week about Venjix acting like he just knew automatically that Dillon and the others were coming into the wasteland. It seemed a bit odd that he just knew this would happen. And now we see that this wasn’t just a case of shoddy writing (which, let’s face it, happens all the time on this show). It was actually part of the plot, which was waiting for this moment to be revealed.

I freaking LOVE this season!

The Rangers aren’t coming up with anything interesting in Omega City because, well, there’s nothing for them to find there. And it seems like Dillon knows that now. “Something’s not right,” he says to the others. His rebel-senses are tingling.

Back at the base, Colonel Truman is sipping his coffee, all cozey in his chair, as Dr. K has arrived to try to explain to him and Corporal Hicks that something terrible could be happening.

As a sidelight, I’d just like to say how much I’m loving Corporal Hicks. I didn’t notice it at first, but every single time he shows up on-screen, he’s doing something wrong. He trips, or drops something important, or stammers like an idiot. You just want to give him a hug and say “Shhh, it’ll be okay.” I can’t help loving the screw-ups. It doesn’t hurt that his name constantly reminds me of Hicks from “Aliens:” “We’re in some real pretty shit now!”

Anyway, Colonel Truman doesn’t like the idea of lowering the shield just so Dr. K can talk to the Rangers. I don’t think he was meant to sound like a total douche here, but he comes marginally close in this moment. Which is why the rest of the scene is such a joy.

Dr. K explains that, while she was part of that psycho “think tank” for most of her life, she was asked to make a lot of things. Including a chemical compound that would enduce explosive diarrhea when ingested with coffee. Which is what Truman happens to be drinking at that moment. She ponders what would force someone to use such a compound… So basically, she’s implying that she’ll use her superior intellect to screw with Truman to get whatever the frak she wants. AWESOME.

With Colonel Truman’s whole-hearted blessing, Dr. K has the shield lowered and contacts the Rangers. Ziggy and Flynn show up inside the van just in time to speak with her (I guess their actual phone service is T-Mobile and thus impossible to reach). She tells them the device Tenaya planted on Dillon a while back also embedded false memories into him. Which means Kenmore doesn’t actually mean anything. IT’S A TRAP!

Ziggy barely lets out that Gold and Silver zords came to their rescue earlier, before he and Flynn have to go rushing to tell the others what they’ve learned. Of course, they’re too late. And an Attack-Bot shows up with Grinders to take care of them.

What ensues next is the best unmorphed fight of the whole season. And I must say, this group of actors seems generally pretty nimble when compared to some of the other recent teams. Not that the stuntmen who like to cover their own faces as they do seven cartwheels into a stack of boxes are any less obvious, but the actors themselves are markedly better than most when it comes to fight sequences. They’re not zombies on sleeping pills when they go out to fight- they move fast, and they do some fairly athletic stunts in some places.

Anyway, the Rangers finally morph to face the Attack-Bot, but I guess this guy’s too tough for them. He also loves to throw bombs at them, which is giving me “Power Rangers Turbo” flashbacks. I wonder if they referred to the bombs as “detonators” in the script to avoid the terrorist implications. ^_^

The Attack-Bot throws a detonator (heh) at the Rangers, and they act like it’s the worst thing ever, despite being Power Rangers who could easily deal with a few bombs going off near them. They need the Shiny Twins to show up and catch the bomb in mid-air as they drop out of nowhere to help. They toss the detonator back at the robot and it explodes, launching him off.

More Grinders just kinda show up so the new Gold and Silver Rangers can show off their new costumes and fight choreography. I like how they have a slightly different fighting style to the other RPM kids. Silver does a lot more aerial moves, while she and Gold both tend to just sorta glide their way right through the foot soldiers as they take them down. The Attack-Bot retreats like a surly wench. And then Gold and Silver just leave again.

Okay… why are they doing this exactly? Ziggy notes that they’re anti-social, but since we know who they are and what kinda personality they have, it strikes me as odd that they would keep doing this. And actually kind of annoying, as this is something their sentai counterparts did, except they had a reason. I pray the Shiny Twins have a reason too, otherwise I won’t be pleased. And I think a certain Golden Girl would agree with me.

In any case, the RPM kids, for the second time in a row, have completely failed at fighting Attack-Bots, so they decide it’s time to head home. They start to pile back into the Go-Onger van to return to Corinth. Dillon is the last to step inside as he stares out at Cylon-Occupied Caprica. “We’ll find the answers,” Summer says. “You guys are the answer,” Dillon sexies. ” I’m just looking for the question.” Awww. He likes them. He really likes them!

Meanwhile, however, the Attack-Bot has planted another detonator on the back end of the van as it begins to drive off. And now I’m REALLY having “Power Rangers Turbo” flashbacks. Tenaya just needs to raise her parascope out of Dillon’s glass of Sunny Delight to spy on the Rangers and it’ll be complete.

So, the detonator explodes and… Well, it must be a dud because it didn’t blow the whole van to kingdom come. It just sorta rocks the thing a little, and the Rangers morph and bail out of the van while it’s still moving. Scott looks up just in time to watch his dad’s van go flying off a cliff and explode on impact!

GO-ONGER ACRONYM VAN!!!!!!!

WHYYY?! WHY DOES GOD LET THERE BE BAD THINGS?!?!

The Rangers aren’t out of hot water yet, as Venjix, the Attack-Bot, and… The Gold One, have all shown up to kick them while they’re down. Well, the Shiny Twins aren’t gonna let that happen. They launch into another fight with more Grinders. Only this time they use their spiffy dagger weapons. Silver uses ice attacks. Gold uses fire attacks. They both rock my socks.

Before Venjix can really do too much, The Gold One suggests that they let the Attack-Bot handle things. Because he did such an awesome job the first time. And the two of them retreat into a cloud of fog that just happened to be floating by.

The Attack-Bot hopes to settle the score with Gold and Silver, but he underestimates the power of the Bandai toy department, who have equipped these kids with daggers that shoot rocket fuel, causing them to basically fly. They swoop in and slash the living crap out of the Attack-Bot with utter ease. The robot goes down in no time.

Okay, time to fly off again, Shiny Twins!

Oh… They’re not flying off this time, I guess. They’re offering the other Rangers a ride back to Corinth.

At the base, they’re detecting the two new zords with no lifesigns aboard. Dr. K, being a genius, explains that they’re equipped with a dampening field that masks their lifesigns. She knows this because she’s the one that built it… Booyah.

As the core five Rangers walk into The Garage unmorphed, Gold and Silver have curiously decided not to power down their suits at this point. Maybe they’re like Bubble Boy types or something. In any event, Ziggy tries to prepare them for some seriously cold behavior from Dr. K when they meet her, because she grew up in a psycho think tank.

Well, all that flies right out the window the moment Dr. K shows up and Gold and Silver reveal themselves as the Caffeine Twins, Gem and Gemma. She practically launches at them and gives them a big hug, tears streaming down her face. She’s never looked so happy in the whole of the series. Never. My God. It’s like……. (*bursts into hysterical crying*)

This episode made me happy. Very, very happy. The story had a fairly epic scope to it, with a narrative that was actually complex and gave a good surprise or two. Good comedy. Good moments of drama. Good action. It gave me practically everything I could have wanted out of one solid episode. I look forward to where the series takes us from here.

“Ghosts” gets a strong A.

-Dr. Tristan